Word by word

Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:6)

Prayer for me is a constant awareness of God in my day to day life. When I sit at my desk to write, I know he is with me. Still, it is quite normal for me to begin writing staring at a blank screen, especially if I didn’t leave my latest project in the middle of a scene. When I quit my previous project at such a point, it is easier to get my motor running. Assignments like this, without a lightbulb moment, are very difficult. It takes discipline.

While I stare at the screen, I force my mind and heart to rest, and listen. Although I don’t verbalize my words, I invite God to direct my thoughts. Sometimes a fire erupts and thoughts tumble into my mind faster than my fingers can type them. Thought upon thought, in an orderly manner. But that is rare. Most of the time, a little spark ignites, and as I respond to that thought, another one glows, inviting me to explore it. Other times my mind remains as blank as my screen.

At this point I will reread what others have written on the subject, hoping something will awaken my slumbering brain. If nothing does, I try to change the direction from which I approach the subject. Even doing that, quite often, it is persevering, refusing to give up, squeezing out a thought, one word at a time, all the while wondering if I’m ignorant on a subject I need to write about.

But once I’m finished, and reread what I’ve written, I marvel at how those squeezed out words actually say something. I am humbled, considering how easy it would have been to quit, yet, my Heavenly Father led me down a path on my blank screen I had no idea existed.